1. If you understand English, you can continue to read the technology jokes below. If you do not understand English, press find a suitable topic.
2. Hey, why discriminating because the other guy doesn’t understand English? Do not be racist, Be like Mario. He’s an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
3. Question: Where is the best place to hide a body?
Answer: The second page of a Google search.
4. Before google, there were librarians. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries:
• A woman wanted “inspirational material on grass and lawns.”
• “Who built the English Channel?”
• “Is there a full moon every night in Acapulco?”
• “Music suitable for a doll wedding to take place between a Shirley Temple doll and a teddy bear.”
• “Can the New York Public Library recommend a good forger?”
5. Give a man a fish, and he’ll Instagram it; teach a man to fish, and he’ll still Instagram it.
6. • Were Moses alive today, the Ten Commandments would be known as the Ten Best Practices, presented in PowerPoint and followed by 40 years of status meetings.
• The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t invent PowerPoint.
• No one ever says, “Boy, that ‘I Have a Dream’ speech could’ve been a lot better if Martin Luther King Jr. had used PowerPoint.”
7. Son: Dad, what’s PokemonGo, Clash of Titans and Super Mario
Dad: Son, I don’t know, we’re windows user.
8. I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, “Your password is incorrect.”
9. • STATUS: Dear Facebook, Thanks for informing me it’s my wife’s birthday today. Do you know what would be more useful?!?! Some kind of warning system … i.e., notification that it’s her birthday in a few days!
10. I put my phone on airplane mode, but it sure ain’t flyin’.
11. The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. “Can someone look at my computer?”
I asked. “The hard drive crashed.”
“We can’t just send people down on your say-so,” said the specialist. “How do you know that’s the problem?”
“A student told me.”
“We’ll send someone right over.”
12. Customer: Can you help me find a book?
Me: Of course. Do you know the author or title?
Customer: Well, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it. I want that book.
Me: Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.
Customer: Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?
Me: Unfortunately, no.
Customer: In that case, I’ll take my business to a bookstore that has better computers.
Disclaimer: All the above jokes belongs to their respective owners and I do not claim copyright.